sometime I believe my mind has thoughts of its own. at times, my emotions are illogical. at times, I couldn't change them even if my well-being was threatened. for instance, feelings of insecurity. in my relationships, I am constantly worried about offending her, or doing something that would cause her to hate me. like..... touching her. even when everything is going wonderfully, and I can look at all evidence, and see that she probably doesn't hate me, I still worry. or for instance, I will become very depressed over previous relationships ending, even if when I look at it logically, it was probably better if they did end. so I sit there, struggling on, never daring to tell her my fears, and her, never daring to dispel my doubts. if only I could have told her.... if only... hm... but dwelling on regrets is the surest path to insanity....